Emer McLysaght Author and journalist

In Nobody Needs This, a new series for The Journal, Emer McLysaght focuses her eagle eye on the trends, products and notions we can do without. It’s not all giving out, however. She’ll also be keeping up with what’s catching her attention, keeping people interested and, quite frankly, driving her mad.

EVERYONE WARNS YOU when you’re applying for a mortgage about the paperwork, the delays, the unanswered phone calls and emails, the hidden costs, the bidding, the
outbidding, the going over of your bank statements with a fine tooth comb to make
sure you aren’t addicted to scratch cards or daring to fritter any of your disposable
income on shoes or Labubus.

I’m embarking on this journey myself, and am in the somewhat unusual position of attempting to purchase the apartment I currently live in. This comes with its own stumbling blocks, not least my status as a self-employed writer and a historical beef between the building’s owners and the Celtic Tiger-era construction company.

The one thing that won’t stymie me, though, is a ban on pets because miraculously the complex I live in welcomes cats, dogs and I presume anything else you can put on a lead, in a cage, or buy an electric blanket for (in the case of my extremely spoiled feline).

I know I am lucky.

This isn’t the case for the majority of renters in Ireland.

Trying to find a home that will accept pets is prohibitively difficult (as if it isn’t already a
complete nightmare, even without Nala or Luna in tow. While I have you, can we please put a ban on calling pets Nala or Luna? It’s getting confusing in the park at this stage).

Many landlords, irrelevant of the dwelling type, have a blanket ban on pets while the management companies of most apartment complexes forbid pets on the premises as part of their house rules. Why?

Yes, pets have the potential to cause damage to fixtures and fittings. Yes, pets have the potential to cause a noise disturbance. But I ask you this. Have you met a child?

Now, I’m not in the business of comparing pets to children and would gladly campaign for a referendum to include a ban on the phrase ‘fur babies’ in the constitution, but as a child-free renter for 25 years, and a pet owner for a large portion of that time, I can categorically state that I have never been disturbed by a neighbour’s animal nor have I received complaints about my own animal.

I have considered however moving on multiple occasions because of the near-feral behaviour of some of my neighbours, large and small.

You’re telling me that a person trying to rent or buy an apartment can’t have a single cat, but they can birth any number of children to live in the residence? Make it make sense.

Have you seen what a child can do to a couch with a sticky jam hand?

The lease agreement for the complex I live in states:

‘It is forbidden to keep animals/pets on the premises which in the opinion of the
management company may cause annoyance to the owners or occupiers of any part
of the estate.’

Luckily, at some point in the past residents decided that as they weren’t privy to the
opinions of the management company, they would keep pets and see what happened.

As a result, the complex is home to dozens of dogs and who knows how many cats. I have never been disturbed by either. Very occasionally there’s a circular about dog fouling in common areas and a warning that the management company will ‘invoke its right under the lease terms and arrange for the removal of animals from the development permanently’.

Imagine the stand-off.

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Landlords and management companies who impose blanket pet bans are lazy, greedy and an extension of the poor attitude towards pet ownership in Irish officialdom (yes, there are poor attitudes towards almost everything in Irish officialdom, but that’s an argument for another day).

The National Housing Plan aims to eliminate bans on pets in social housing and dwellings managed by Approved Housing Bodies, but this will not extend to private landlords.

So, fingers crossed for me and the cat that we get the mortgage. Otherwise, it’s the
coal mines for her.

Is anyone else …

Absolutely haunted by ads for Candlelight Concerts on social media?

Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. There’s no escaping them. Has anyone been? I’m *this* close to giving in and buying a ticket in the vain hope they’ll leave me alone.

Reddit threads of the week

A mother is asking r/advice for, well, advice about a ‘racist’ four-year-old

Someone on r/flicks is asking if anyone can think of a terrible Tom Cruise film

An old but fascinating thread on what dentists can know just by looking in your
mouth

Get your tickets

The Dublin Theatre Festival has opened the sales of tickets for its programme this
September and October. Hot properties include Radio Bette starring Ruth Negga at
The Gaiety, Xnthony’s Lourdes! The Musical at the Civic Theatre in Tallaght and
Tanz by Florentina Holzinger at the O’Reilly Theatre, which includes ‘nudity, fake
blood, piercing and body suspension, depictions of masturbation’.