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WE ALL LIKE a drink, it’s part of our national stereotype, right? Well, now new statistics prove that it’s not so much a stereotype as fact; last year 75% of all alcohol taken was consumed as part of a binge drinking session, and we collectively spend about €50m on booze per week. Alcohol, and the heavy consumption of it, has become normalised.
I drink, like most 25 year olds – probably a bit more than I should, but a lot less than I used to. I have finally learned the word ‘control’ but I had to go tee-total at 24 to get there.
The photos of a friend’s wedding were the tipping point for me. They showed me what I’d been doing, but what had I actually done? Unfortunately the day is largely lost to the deep, dark recesses of my amygdala, the part of the brain that stores emotional memories and, ironically, is in charge of decision making.
I asked my friends the next day: “Did I do anything?” with the classic sodden shame, hoping they would, of course, say I was the life and soul, a revolving glitterball of glorious sozzled fun. Drinkers like to draw a line under the night before, as if it never happened, it’s all too easy to forget it did. But not for those friends and family who watch and wait for the inevitable slide from jovial to juvenile, bitter and aggressive.
We go out and have a couple of drinks until we achieve that prime moment of intoxication when the world and all those in it are shinning lights of love. For some reason though we keep drinking, fooled that this feeling with continue, can only get better! Next thing you know you’re friends have left you throwing up in a toilet after you abused them all.
I know that the morning after the wedding I woke up with my dress in tatters. I woke up at home, thankfully, although how I got there remains a mystery. A terrifying thought that haunts me throughout the day: what might have happened? Was I even able to lock the door behind me?
Dostoevsky wrote: “Man is a creature that can get accustomed to anything”, it seems I became all too accustomed to drink at 24. Lots and often. While I wouldn’t label myself an alcoholic I had definitely developed an unhealthy attitude to drinking.
We’ve long since left behind the idea that alcoholics spend their lives on the street with a ruddy complexion. In fact, what I have discovered is that alcoholics, drug users and anyone else using some kind of substance as relief, can be incredibly clever. Adept at hiding things: bottles, the fact they’re intoxicated, how much they’ve really had. My handbag used to contain, for example, chewing gum, mints, perfume, a hidden half-bottle and a mixer drink for drinking in public. All things designed to hide the truth.
I’d be foolish to think people hadn’t noticed. I drank to numb my feelings, yet when I got drunk they reared up like wild horses and their thundering hooves beat me to the floor. Later I would wake up, once again full of shame and self-loathing and swearing never to touch another drop.
Scream, rage, punch a pillow, lie on the floor and do nothing. That’s what I should do. I suffer from depression, as do a lot of drinkers. Despite medical advice we think it’s better to self-medicate with booze which makes the depression worse. An anti-depressant in your stomach and a depressant in your glass makes no sense to anyone.
Then there are the real horrors – things you don’t know if you don’t regularly drink to excess. One recovering alcoholic described the sweating, shakes, stomach cramps, constipation, boredom and anxiety (no wonder it must seem so tempting to launch yourself from the wagon into awaiting bottles). Their story pushed me further from the temptation of a pint.
I have also taken some positives though from reading alcoholics’ personal accounts and talking to them about their drinking. One of the most important things for me was that thinking about having a drink is actually OK. It reinforced my own strength when I made the decision not to do it. I wasn’t buying any booze, I wasn’t opening any bottles or having to stash the evidence in my wardrobe. I’d thought about it and I’d said no.
Anyone that has ever tried to diet and berated themselves for dreaming about cakes, chocolate or crisps will understand that removing the thing you want doesn’t remove the thoughts of them. It doesn’t stop them being out there, enjoyed by everyone else but you. But reminding yourself that you have made a conscious decision not to drink, or eat the cake, and that you’ve fulfilled your promise to yourself actually works. It’s basic positive reinforcement, operant conditioning. In fact the more I think about it all the stronger I feel for not giving in.
As I said at the start, I do still drink, after giving it up for three months. But I’m careful about the way I do it, even a ‘session’ in my local is considered, diluted by time and actual enjoyment, not sneaking off to the loos to top-up. I don’t drink in secret and try not to drink alone and, if I do, I take stock, reflect on my current mental state and try to occupy myself with something more productive as well as talking to people about how I’m actually feeling.
I’m similar to, I imagine, the two thirds of 18 to 24 year olds from the stats; I don’t want to give up drinking entirely but I’ve given up the constant fear of my liver collapsing, the constant embarrassment caused by drunken lunging-snogs, stupid rows and tears only brought on by the drink.
The only way we can address this across a generation of drinkers is by making it acceptable to talk about and recognise the signs of a burgeoning problem. You don’t have to be swigging cider from a paper bag under a bridge to be an alcoholic, we need to reframe our relationship with drinking, take the buzz out of it, and reminding ourselves to say no every once in a while.
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My hangovers have made me almost stop drinking altogether. It’s not worth it for me.
When they stop with this ridiculous 3 pints is a binge I might listen. When people hear that crap they just take it as bollixoligy and ignore it.
When will paddy quit living in denial & accept that 1.6 litres of beer is indeed a large amount & if Intl consensus deems it binging, who are we to argue?
1.6 litres of beer is not actually a large amount looking at from an Irish perspective. 3-5 litres maybe.
People have been binge drinking in Ireland for hundreds of years by this logic. Either set realistic guidelines or nobody will take this seriously. First comment was in jest, Kate.
What is an “Irish perspective”?
You mean one where half the nation are alco’s so the bar should be higher?
The very wording ” Irish perspee” shows how dar people are in denial.
As if being Irish means international norms for binging don’t apply.
Nobody debates the damage done by drinking above the recommended amount but drinking 5 or 6 beers is not a ‘binge’ in Ireland or any other country. The term is ridiculous!!
Jeremy, with your “Wisconsin perspective” you would know all about people in glasshouses that shouldn’t throw stones and kettles calling pots black. Just saying like..
I’m 6 months off it , I’m not an alcoholic but the hangovers were starting to last 2 days , I’m self employed so it’s survival of the fittest out there and going into work trying to get motivated through a hangover is impossible , please god one day I can go back on it without it turning into a session… I think that’s the biggest problem I see in this country – no one goes out for literally 1 or 2 and then just calls it a night
Hiding drink and keeping a stash are not good signs and perhaps you may need to abdicate altogether from alcohol. Fair play for staying off it for 3 months but i reckon the bad habits may creep back in – use the positivity you have now to stay away and fit other activities you enjoy into the time ud normally spend drinking. We’ve only one life – we should spend it on things that make us happy and that don’t bring is down.
I’m inclined to agree. If you were hiding a half bottle in your bag and concealing evidence of drinking in your wardrobe, my personal opinion is that it would be much wiser for you to simply call it a day with the drinking and move on. Even in your 20s and in Ireland, doing those things regularly indicates something beyond “normal” heavy drinking.
Anyway, whatever you do, well done for getting it under control for the time being and thanks for sharing your story.
Everyone will get a wake up call when it comes to drink…..
Its up to every individual how they react to this and what action they end up taking..
It’s the sleep that gives you hangovers. I’m grand before I fall asleep wake up in d morning like shit
Anyone who cuts down on drink, it cuts it out altogether,fair play, not a easy station! People rely too much on alcohol to enjoy life
Very well written and some good points. Im a social drinker and somewhat of a “lightweight” but while I dont really get hangovers where I feel ill Im always just drained and feel like crap the next day. It seems like such a waste of a day (the day after the night before) but pathetic and all as this sounds I just dont have the confidence to go out and not drink – its like a social crutch. Wish the author success in her battle with it!
Lightweight.
There’s nothing great about alcohol. Many people tell themselves it’s part of being sociable when the opposite is true – they use it as a social crutch.
True that. Take the drink away & most of us realise that we haven’t quite developed the skills requires to socialise! Didn’t realise that until I emigrated & woke up to the fact that Saturday nights are not about drink/club/2am/chipper/fight/taxi…it’s no wonder the irish clump like flour & water abroad. The chances of Ireland addressing its alcohol issue is less likely to happen than Kim Jong-un admitting that South Korea have the right idea!
As a nation we have a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol.had a hard day at work?drink will make it better.had a good day?let’s celebrate.
No one is forcing anyone to read this article, if u ain’t interested SKIP IT. Drinking is amazing in the short-term as many will agree but only a drunk ostrich wud fail to see this country is ruined in many ways from drink…..if it doesn’t suit u, give it up, it’s a powerful drug after all, no matter wat ur ma and granny and everyone else tells u.
I drank way too much worked very hard and at the weekend when I wanted to do a bit of work for my self I would drink too much and have no interest in doing it. Over weight and feeling down I gave it up for 9 months and started to exercise. Have a few now head in a much better place now.
I feel exactly like that around 8pm every Sunday.
Sounds like an unhealthy relationship with alcohol alright! I don’t think there’s many that lose control that much but some people do have some problems with self control. Good for you that you’ve got control of it but it sounds like something that could be a long term problem and unless underlying issues are addressed they’re likely to reoccur!
Good article, well done to work it out at the age of twenty four, it took me much longer & a lot of pain to get there!
Off it now for 2 years crap when I used to go out cause I would be listening to complete and utter crap by 2 am, so I dont even bother doing that anymore.
Was it crap?
As Professor Anthony Clare said ‘ this most familiar of drugs is neither good nor bad, but both’.
If you think you drink too much; drink less. And please stop telling everyone about it; we don’t care.
Fair play to the author. You’ve realised you have had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I don’t agree with the whole AA “I’m an alcoholic until the day I die” line. You need to exercise appropriate control over drink which can be beneficial when handled correctly. You should look into ortho molecular medicine ie treating conditions with vitamin therapy. There is evidence that there is a connection between alcoholism and certain vitamin deficiencies. And for goodness sake try to get off the anti depressants. Good luck.
http://www.doctoryourself.com/alcoholism.html
What has brought on this rash of anti drink, sugar, meat and all the rest, true confessions? Enough, please no more tales of woe.
Very well written article. I fail to understand why alcohol is consumed if not for its relaxing effects which are only brought on after a few. Otherwise why not drink minerals?
3 pints may not be a binge but it’s not nothing. 3 pints goes down easy, sure , but it’s near enough the same alcohol as drinking a bottle of wine.
And 6 pints is a binge, don’t be codding yourself. 6 pints would have a person locked. Even if that person could continue and drink another 10 more… That’s not the point! It was already a binge at 6 and it’s a massive binge at 16.
Binge doesn’t mean ‘drinking to your absolute limit’.
Anyway all that aside, the figures do say that we Irish have cut down on our drinking big time over the last 10 years.
The amount of reports on drink and alcoholism is scandalous, simply paying some friends of the minister to rewrite the same thing over and over again. If people make gluttons of themselves that’s their business. They do it with food and we have an obesity problem which is a huge drain on the health system. Addiction is terrible for people, the thing people are addicted to ie drugs, drink, food, money, power, computers, porn, gambling, etc causes their friends to suffer more than the addicts. The addicts feel nothing while they are actively involved in their addiction, they may feel shame and remorse when they wake up from it after years of abusing their family and employers. All these addictions need to be taxed more highly and politicians need to at least try to minimise the damage. That is a bit like turkey’s voting for Xmas
Great story
Thank you
Very good article Kate, I admire your openness & honesty on the matter, good to see that you become aware of the problem and made positive changes to combat it, well done!
According to the newspaper the other day you are one of 177,550 alcoholics in Ireland simply by the fact if you ever drank more than 3 pints in less tan 2 hours you are a bigger with a problem. The Irish are dumbing down everything but this takes the biscuit, imagine social drinkers are now calling themselves alcoholics.
The W.H.O’s definition of alcoholism is ” If alcohol causes 1 problem in any 1 area of your life, then YOU have a problem”.
Nothing like a glass of paddy before bed,it’s better than a sleeping tablet.
Another nanny state attempt at controlling the nation.Ireland is becoming more and more like a prison every single day.
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