We need your help now
Support from readers like you keeps The Journal open.
You are visiting us because we have something you value. Independent, unbiased news that tells the truth. Advertising revenue goes some way to support our mission, but this year it has not been enough.
If you've seen value in our reporting, please contribute what you can, so we can continue to produce accurate and meaningful journalism. For everyone who needs it.
Sign in. It’s quick, free and it’s up to you.
An account is an optional way to support the work we do. Find out more.
By continuing, you are indicating that you accept our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
LAST UPDATE | 22 Jan 2023
TOXIC MASCULINITY is not a new idea or concept, the story of Narcissus dates to Greek philosophy, the notion of being so self-centred or self-absorbed that other people are just to be used for one’s own gratification is a classic tale. This is where the terminology of the narcissistic personality type comes from.
Kacael et al. describe it well in a 2017 study in a behavioural medical journal: “Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a psychological disorder characterised by a persistent pattern of grandiosity, fantasies of unlimited power or importance, and the need for admiration or special treatment.”
Social media platforms are becoming increasingly populated by individuals with toxic masculine views or narcissistic ideologies.
The Tate problem
By now, most of us will be familiar with the name Andrew Tate – the social media ‘influencer’ currently in custody in Romania. The British national and his brother Tristan were detained in late December and face charges in relation to human trafficking, rape and organised crime. Charges they deny.
If we look at Tate, he has a kind of cult following now, he has millions of followers on Twitter, but is banned from Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok and YouTube.
This can sometimes be a badge of honour for some, being a bad boy can make it more appealing to some followers. The notion of a rebel without a cause is not a new one.
His narrative however is still influencing many young impressionable boys online, with his lifestyle, persona and style appearing attractive to lots of men and boys.
To a toxic male and a classic overt narcissist, generating wealth with a persona on this corner of the internet (known as the ‘manosphere’) is a draw. A collection of men’s sites and blogs, the manosphere presents an enticing alternate reality where empathy for others is a no-no and women are viewed as property. Underlying its hypermasculinity and misogyny is the fantasy of a lavish and wealthy lifestyle – the message being that wealth, power, and prestige are rewarded by a sense of entitlement.
Impressionable minds
Unfortunately, many young people aspire to this ideal and lifestyle, they see meaning and purpose in this, to be rich and famous is somehow a sign of absolute success. I would argue however it is what you do with your wealth that defines you. What values do you hold, do you have any empathy or compassion for others?
Young people today covet social media’s power and influence, no matter how fake or false it may seem to those who remember a time when it didn’t exist. It is in essence their world. I am not wishing to cause hysteria so let me temper this by saying that there is an antidote to toxic masculinity. Instilling good values in our children is vitally important in this instance. The toxic masculine needs to grow up a bit and maybe have a little look within…
We need to look to our community for models of healthy masculinity, a good sporting coach, a good dad, a guardian, a good therapist, a teacher etc.
These systems exist already in society and are a good mechanism for giving some healthy challenges to this misogynistic ideology. If we are to push back against the pervasive nature of the smartphone, where Tate and his peers shout louder, faster and easily source a captive audience, then these positive influences must be harnessed in a conscious way.
Psychological makeup
In the classic psychoanalyst’s view, a narcissistic influencer thriving in the manosphere has deep-seated issues surrounding women, perhaps related to their relationship with their mothers. They feel the need to dominate and subjugate others to feel secure. This type of personality often comes from a value system that is completely patriarchal and sees women as ‘less than’ – it is the toxic male view.
Why then if this opinion is so abhorrent and offensive to most balanced people does Andrew Tate have such a large following? Robert Lawson, an associate professor of sociolinguistics at Birmingham City University has a few gems in relation to this. Lawson alludes to masculinity being in a form of crisis with the parameter shifts of the last 30 or so years. “You’re important, you’re needed and your masculinity is needed to fight against all of the changes that are happening in the world. The world is no longer for you or wants to invest in you.”
A lot of what Tate and his peers online are saying in some sense isn’t actually new. It’s a re-articulation of a crisis of masculinity discourse that we see back in the 1970s, back in the 1980s, through the men’s movement led by people like Robert Bly and so on, where there was a sense of reconnecting with your own masculinity as a way of fixing the world. He’s only another entry in a long line of other men who have done something similar.
What to do?
It appears that Tate is now a postmodern voice of some men, but one thing his case has done at least is to highlight the growing threat of the manosphere to the wellbeing of wider society. Now we have to ask, how can we counter this influence on young people?
If you are reading this and have teenage children and are concerned at the narrative that Tate is spinning online, talk to them about this and be open to discussion on this topic, on all of it. While the message of the manosphere is fundamentally loathsome, not all of what everyone says is discountable.
The fact that some men and boys identify with Tate and his peers doesn’t make them abhorrent, it makes them human, it serves some need, or they are searching for a narrative that they can relate to. Find out what that need is and try to understand its causes. Talk through the problems with the messages being sold to young men – ‘is it really ok not to care about others’, challenge the lack of empathy and lack of respect of women, in particular.
If someone in your life is quite vociferous about Tate’s view there may be an indication they are feeling disconnected from society. Open discussion and some personal development are always helpful here. Talk therapy helps. The world needs more healthy male role models, we need more adult views and input on our social media platforms.
If you or someone you know needs to talk to somebody professional, make sure that who you go to is qualified and accredited. www.iacp.ie has a register of qualified, accredited and experienced counsellors and psychotherapists nationwide.
Geoffrey McCarthy is an accredited psychotherapist and a member of the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (IACP).
It’s not about toxic masculinity, it’s about toxicity in society as a whole. Society loves to polarise which is disgustingly fuelled by media for stories and click bait.
The question needs to be asked where does “toxic masculinity” come from ? Is it a result of men reacting to toxic femininity which seems to go absolutely unchecked and deemed as accepted in society ?
@Ciaran: you do realise that Tate is being done for rape and false imprisonment but you are turned this post around to give out about feminism? This post is about how social media and toxic narcissistic behaviour lead these men to treat others mainly women as less. It’s not necessarily to complain about the behaviour of women.
@Ciaran: this is amazing, yet also entirely expected, that the first comment blames women for men’s behaviour. THIS, Ciaran, is what “toxic masculinity” is. The complete inability of a man to look inside himself to fix the problem, and propensity to blame any faults on others. Toxic masculinity has been gifted to you by the patriarchy. It’s got nothing to do with women.
@The Ghost of Dublin: Actually what Ciaran is referring to is toxicity and narcissistic behaviour in both men and women, or however people choose to identify, but that it only considered an issue when men act in this way.
Women on the other hand generally speaking get a free pass for such behaviour, on the basis that they allegedly only doing so, to assert their rights and prevent themselves being somehow subjugated by a patriarchy that only exists in their minds, because the vast majority of men have a pretty miserable existence and are constantly demonised for just being men.
Men are in fact constantly looking inside themselves, as well as being judged externally others, women see passing judgment on men as right and not only men they know personally, for women criticising men in generally, is as involuntary as breathing, this is probably why male sucides are so common.
Women also often criticise men for not being in touch with their emotions, but as soon as one expresses them, they are ridiculed being weak, or for not being a real man..
Andrew Tate is not the designated representative for all men, and all men are not guilty by association for any alleged crimes he may have committed or for his obnoxious attitudes and behaviour.
@David Van-Standen: this is a nail on the head comment! An earlier comment here referenced the toxic and narcissistic behaviours of but men and women today which was 100% correct in what was stated and almost immediately it was attacked for being labelled as toxic masculinity, how ridiculous…
The journal increaly turning into a propaganda site rather than a news outlet. Picking sides on issues. Its disappointing to see
@Red Line: *increasingly
@Red Line: and close comment when people are going to disagree
@Red Line: yeah, there are always two sides to the story .
Especially when they have admitted what they do openly , and have insight into their criminality and even knew they would get caught . I mean, some women LIKE being trafficked and forced to perform sex acts for their man or pimp. They NEED those men to make them
Otherwise they may not enter s/e/x work at all, or leave when they want for other work.
Call me a misogynist but as a woman I am pushed to the edge with the constant 24 hour media rep on women’s issues yet barely I mean absolutely barely any subjects mentioned now on men. Where are the ads on the countless social media profiles of women promoting violence against men, how to rip off your boyfriends, how to manipulate people into believing you’re nice, even stuff like ‘never get out of the way if a man walks towards you’. It’s like some people want a payback for hundreds of years of maltreatment by society, in a year. Shoving it down the troat of everyone will not work and you create way more divide. I am talking about the toxic femininity side, and do not intend to dismiss the work of the people actually fighting for fair and equal treatment.
Andrew Tate is an answer to the feminists out there that took it to the next level. He is horrid. But every action has an equal reaction. That’s how the world works.
I cannot turn on Netflix or the radio without someone going on about men this, man that yet no one ever talks about just being equal, treat everyone with respect.
Boys these days will grow up thinking they need to do what woman tell them or else, also they will grow up with that growing feeling of being evil to their core just by being a man.or they will listen to Andre T.
Honestly I don’t get how some don’t see how radical and toxic both sides are. I’m truly sick of it. There is so much hatred out there for men, it is inevitable some will have had enough by now. And I do not blame them.
@GaMran: thank you, well said.
Why aren’t we talking about the fact both genders male and female are being eroded by the these so called new genders. Asking women to compete against men etc. I also wound say men are being totally demasculed its obvious and being totally ignored. Nothing tate stands for as man I agree with but he has some valid points around demarcation.
@The Ghost of Dublin: yes, ‘gender’ is fluid – but not in the way you’re describing. It’s a slippery term that ideologues deliberately refuse to pin down so they can spout nonsense that denies biology. Hence the confusion they have injected into the culture where men can have periods and mothers are ‘birthing persons’ and teenage girls, anxious about their bodies, are encouraged to explore unnecessary invasive and semi permanent ‘remedies’. Much better to go back to biological sex. ‘Men’ and ‘women’ denote adult human males and females. Simple as that.
@The Ghost of Dublin: wow. Brain washed beyond belief.
More concern about feminism nowadays
Or maybe people should just raise their children correctly, instill normal values and morals into them.
Blame social media all you want but young people should have had good morals and respect for others instilled in them before they are ever let near the cesspit of social media.
@Davey Ohanlon
You are spot on , children have to be reared and instilled with the values of honesty , integrity , kindness and respect. These values will render the cesspit of toxic masculinity and trolls on social media abhorrent to them .
It has always been the case in the past at least where women were treated as second class citizens . This is proven by how unmarried pregnant women were banished into Mother and Baby homes while the Fathers of these children were treated as blameless ,almost as if the women were responsible because she agreed to sex and the men could not stop themselves.
If you look up toxic feminity it is also some how mens fault too. It doesn’t go in to the traits of what toxic women do but how they are subservient to men. There are toxic people doing toxic things and using whatever in society allows them to get away with which will be the advantages of their sex if they can.
@The Ghost of Dublin: so women don’t ever judge each other by appearance (often much more harshly than men) or channel their aggression into attacks on other women’s social standing / reputation? Divorced women never try to stop their exes from seeing their kids out of spite? It never happens? School girls are never guilty of cyberbullying? Your myopia is as obvious as your political bias.
@The Ghost of Dublin: wow all over this article like a cheap suit. You do love your current buzz words. Personal responsibility is what makes a person and allows them to excel, doesn’t matter your gender. Andrew tate is a pox who’s perfectly legal webcam business is just another form of only fans. Take responsibility for your own actions and the world is your oyster whatever gender you are.
@The Ghost of Dublin: monumentally ill informed comment. Was amber heard a woman of no agency? Also women kill children far more than men do. Is this because of their oppression? In over 80% of cases in the family courts men lose their wealth homes and more importantly their children and have to pay for the luxury of seeing their children and these children suffer more than others. Is that because of mens dominance in western societies?
@The Ghost of Dublin: You must be having a laugh? You think Toxic Masculinity is real but Toxic Femininity is made up? You can’t have one without the other, so they are either both real or both just made up terms. I believe that they are both BS. There are toxic people of course, which females make up a large proportion off.
@The Ghost of Dublin: you are the embodiment of toxic femininity. You refuse to even countenance the idea that feminism has been to the forefront of every decision for the last 30 years. This country became independent 100 years ago. We introduced equality laws 53 years ago. Women have been out performing men in education since the mid 80′s. The only thing we hear about this is when women are not performing as well as men in stem subjects. We have programmes to rectify this. We have laws for female quotas in the workplace but none for men. There’s not one programme mentioned to help young men reach their academic potential. 87% of primary school teachers and 71% of secondary school teachers are female. Where is the outrage from feminists who demand equality.
A friend of mine believes men are the true romantics: a man will love a woman unconditionally. A woman will love him seemingly for what he is/has/provides etc, instead of who he is, but generally – he loses his job/power: she gone. Not my words (honest now)…but is kinda cool thinking men are the true romantics. Women want the best of course, but their objectivity can be cold at times. Toxic comment or truth?
@Keth Warsaw: men tend to base their attraction on looks (evolutionarily, this translates to selecting healthy mates), whereas women tend to base it more on status (ability to provide while rearing young, the period when women are most vulnerable). Over the long haul, staying with someone comes comes down to some parts inertia, some parts deliberate choice as opposed to just going with your feelings (‘oh, the fizz has gone out of the relationship, therefore we should go our separate ways’). This requires you to have enough self-awareness to recognise and override many of your own biological inclinations.
It is often said that money is the root of all evil, I disagree. To me evil always starts with treating people as things.
It is always groups of people who are treated as things like this, in this case women, others find their victims in racial, religious, sexual or national groups.
The goal always seems to be for one group of people to make themselves feel superior by dehumanising another group.
It is obscene, vile and disgusting in all its forms and in my opinion needs to be called out as the core of toxic thinking.
Shout-out to any non-angry/non-agenda ladeez living in the land of singleton browsing this article. I’m a well-heeled, single handsome (witty/lightly sarcastic) guy looking for light dinner, laughs ‘n chat followed by drinks and dancing. Own car, house (yeah…my own house! dudesses).
Must not…repeat: ‘Must not’ like Michael Buble. Loves animals, art, cooking, weekends away (national and international), and am a ‘good Listener’.
Dislikes: My Journal posts being deleted and any toxicity… yuck!
Maybe take a lead from the LGBTQ rainbow flag – there is a rainbow of attitudes within heterosexual society which sadly includes, (but is not exclusive to,) some men being toxic. But so also are some women, and the degrees within each. Many men are bank robbers; does that make all men bank robbers, or all women hairdressers? (Sorry hairdressers – you do a great job actually).
have your say