WHO HERE KNOWS what it means to accuse someone of ‘ag insint bréaga’? 

You’re a reader of this column, so naturally your cultural bona fides are already beyond question. But one would think that a phrase like ‘ag insint bréaga’ would be up there with ‘tabhair dom an cáca milis’ in terms of ubiquity in the Irish psyche. Most children would be able to tell you what it means, even the ones who have already sort of realised that the Irish language is not for them. 

Apparently the phrase is less well-known than we might imagine. It means ‘telling lies’ and though the Irish language is famously malleable, that is really all it means. It’s not an ambiguous phrase. It’s not a seanfhocal or an idiom. It doesn’t have an inherently whimsical second interpretation. It means ‘telling lies,’ just… in Irish.

The Dáil descended into chaos — can you believe that Oireachtas TV is free by the way? — yet again this week when Martin used the term about Mary Lou McDonald when debating housing. Martin’s bilingually bellicose approach was compounded when McDonald appealed to Ceann Comhairle Verona Murphy to intervene, only for it to become clear that the Murphy hadn’t a clue what Martin had just said. 

A good Ceann Comhairle is like a bit like a good referee. If they’re doing their job well, you shouldn’t really notice them at all. It hasn’t quite worked out that way so far with Murphy, and now seems like the ideal opportunity to let Murphy know that ‘Ceann Comhairle’ is not supposed to mean ‘main character’. Say what you will about Seán Ó Fearghaíl, but a man with that many fadas in his name almost certainly knows how to speak Irish. 

Murphy called a time-out in proceedings to ask Martin if he had just called McDonald a liar, a charge which he immediately denied, even though everyone had heard what he’d said. The only saving grace was that the one person who could do anything about it didn’t understand him. Maybe Michael Lowry et al. would have gotten their speaking rights in the end had they simply asked as Gaeilge. If only Paul Gogarty had thought ahead all of those years ago and simply accused Emmet Stagg of being a ‘buachaill dána’.

Martin may ague that he simply accused McDonald of telling lies rather than of being a liar, the kind of distinction that matters a great deal to Irish parliamentarians, but the fact that he — as Taoiseach — is prepared to waste more Dáil time with distractions, especially after the last few weeks, is more than a little galling.

And all of this happened in the same week that the popular language-learning app Duolingo have confirmed that their mascot owl, Duo, has died. In case you don’t keep up with the many marketing gambits of Duolingo, it’s important to clarify that Duo is not the name of an actual owl who has died, but instead a large green humanoid owl who the brand regularly dress in a bikini and force to do other strange and unsettling things (such as, in this case, die). 

If they really wanted a daring publicity stunt, they should have done something like have killed Duo on Good Friday and resurrected him on Easter Sunday. Or had him teach Irish to the Ceann Comhairle.

We’ve heard from authorities the best way to channel your grief and unlock more about the investigation is to do your lesson.

Together, if we really try, we can bring Duo back. #RipDuo pic.twitter.com/nkEG840EHN

— Duolingo (@duolingo) February 12, 2025

It had already been a headline-heavy week for Martin who suggested a few days ago that Rent Pressure Zones could potentially be on the chopping block for the new government. While Martin has since walked the remarks back, but the original remarks were warmly welcomed by the Irish Property Owners Association. And who doesn’t love to see landlords happy?

Later in the week, it was confirmed that the Irish state would not be heeding any calls to stay out of the US on St Patrick’s Day, sending 10 ministers across the Atlantic at a time when the country’s slow march into authoritarianism has broken into a full-blown sprint.

So spare a thought for auld Micheál. Martin was left disappointed during his last stint as Taoiseach when lockdown, and then his own dose of Covid, prevented him from visiting Washington DC before he was rotated out. Next year’s visit runs the risk of upsetting many Irish voters, however, who see Donald Trump’s aggressively expansionist aims — such as annexing Canada, taking total ownership of Gaza, and fighting with Europe over Greenland — as the mark of a man who should not be entertained, no matter how many NFL games it means we get to host.

Trump has already made it clear that he is only prepared to do business with those who bend the knee to him, and it’s hard to see the Paddy’s Day Outreach Programme as anything more than supplicating a man who is surely-to-God wondering why on earth he has to spend time with all of these Irish people and wondering if we’ve got anything nice he can steal.

Given the billions that Trump and his civilian co-president Elon Musk are supposedly cutting from the US government’s expenditure, it seems more than a tad preposterous that the executive branch remains prepared to direct any time, energy and funds towards the hosting of Irish dignitaries. It also, on a pragmatic level, explains the desperation with which the Irish state clings to its annual trip stateside, particularly given that the trips can no longer be even remotely justified on a moral level. 

If one were in the business of betting, one might wager that Micheál Martin will go to Washington DC and shake Trump’s hand and possibly give a speech that abstractly draws some through-line between Ireland’s history as a nation of emigrants and the many disempowered people of the world today — 1.8million of whom are currently at risk of having their land finally stolen by the US once and for all while they are ethnically cleansed and forced into neighbouring lands.

There will be the fireside chat. Martin will sit exactly where Benjamin Netanyahu sat last week, by the open fire in the Oval Office, and Donald Trump will certainly have some nonsensical things to say, half-remembered details about Ireland, whether or not he liked ‘the last guy’ and some on-the-spot judgment call about Martin himself. Depending on what’s in the news that week he’ll have some story to tell about diversity causing planes to fall out of the sky, or insisting that Biden – long gone from office – is still responsible for the staggering increases in inflation that the US continues to experience.

In other words, it will be a masterclass in the art of ag insint bréaga. Fortunately, we’ve got just the right man on the job.