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Changing mindsets 'To my shame, I suggested his wife collect his child from crèche'

Michelle O’Keeffe of Platform55 says attitudes to working conditions and family life are changing, but that things need to move faster.

I HAVE NEVER been one to shy away from sharing my early career accomplishments. With a background in digital marketing, an understanding of commercials, data analytics and an entrepreneurial mindset, this combination of skills led me to manage a team at a young age.

I managed both men and women who were older than me. I was career focused, carefree and hadn’t even thought of starting a family yet.

One day a man from my team came to me and said, “I’ve just got a call from the crèche, Lucy’s temperature is 39 degrees. I am going to have to go and get her.”

I am not proud of what happened next, but I suggested that his wife pick up the child. Reflecting on it now, I cringe at my lack of empathy and understanding.

That happened 14 years ago when paternity leave was two days, fertility was talked quietly about behind closed doors, mums were the ones who got the phone calls from crèche and menopause was a taboo topic, particularly in the workplace. I had no lived experience of being a parent. I saw parenting-related issues as disruptions in the workplace. However, I would joke so much more easily about someone not making it into the office on a Friday morning after being out with clients the night before.

Learning the lessons

Becoming a parent was a huge turning point, and my view on working parents changed drastically. I saw how the cards were stacked against me to succeed in my career as a female with family responsibilities. But worst of all, I knew that the young and hungry professionals coming up the ranks now saw me as the irritant with my childcare-related calls. This is when I realised something had to change.

In our workplaces, we have a legal and compliant commitment to driving gender equality, being inclusive and ensuring we have policies in place to support employees through all life stages including, gasp, menopause and fertility. But the reality is, there are leaders in organisations who have no lived experience of the policies they are implementing. Leaders who are managing parents but are not parents themselves. Leaders supporting employees through major life events such as maternity, paternity, miscarriage, IVF and menopause alongside having to deliver business KPI’s and objectives.

HR departments and organisations work hard to ensure the best policies are in place, but it’s crucial that managers support the people behind the policies. Through my work, we have asked managers if they are equipped to handle sensitive conversations about family topics that impact the workplace. Shockingly, eight out of 10 managers say they are not.

A workforce for all

How we live and parent has changed. The family dynamic has changed and means different things to different people. From parents to step-parents to caring for elderly parents to same-sex couples on a surrogacy journey, the definition of family varies.

We can’t expect our leaders to have lived experience of every policy and nor do we hope they do. But they do have to support employees every day. That’s the job, alongside the day job and delivering on the organisation’s own KPI’s.

I spoke to an executive last week who on her return from maternity leave got ‘the call’ from the crèche. She told me, “I was told by a manager in my workplace that I had to let her know if my baby was going to be sick again. What a ridiculous thing to say, so with that I resigned.”

This is a perfect example of attrition. A talented female leaves your organisation, not because of the policies or lack thereof, not because of salary, but because of a comment from their leader with no lived experience or training of the situation they are managing.

The cost of losing a female post family leave, costs your organisation 240% of their annual salary. This attrition is the reason we do not have an equal gender split at senior levels. 80% of the gender pay gap is attributed to the motherhood penalty.

It is an organisation’s responsibility to ensure that leaders can lead with empathy and understand what lived experience looks like in relation to the policies they are implementing. At a minimum, they need to be able to support employees through maternity and paternity leave and re-onboard correctly to avoid attrition. Investment must be made in these areas, otherwise, you will lose talented staff.

Maternity and paternity leave, gender pay gap and equality may seem like old news, but these topics impact over 55% of the workforce who are parents. If the Irish workforce is to continue to thrive, those employees need support, as do their employers. 

Michelle O’Keeffe is the Co-Founder of Platform55.

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    Mute BL Music
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:09 PM

    Just like FF and FG . SF will not acknowledge the immigration problem and side with the natives .Irish people do not have a problem with people coming here to work and contribute to society . Irish people rightly do not want busloads of males been dumped into communities.This is wrong and SF would not acknowledge that in a meaningful way.
    If you travel abroad to countries like Poland , you do not see tent cities , you don’t see freeloaders in their cities. Why? Because their government listened to and protected their people .
    All SF had to do was acknowledge that perhaps , Irish people are right in their calls for something to be done that actually favours the people of Ireland and not the thousands of freeloaders we have currently milking the system.

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    Mute 9QRixo8H
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:18 PM

    Again, immigration wasn’t an issue to anyone other than the skin-triggered because the current govt who gave us your so called “immigration problem” have been comfortably re-elected, with anti-immigration parties getting decimated. Nobody has to pander to the far right now, they lost, FFG won.

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    Mute Kieran Ferrett
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:24 PM

    @BL Music: sure if that’s the case then why are ff/fg getting seats everywhere

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    Mute Thomas Sheridan
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:54 PM

    @9QRixo8H: The only party that got decimated is the pro Hamastinian and pro free immigration Shinners.
    “Brits out – everyone else in” simply doesn’t wash with their former supporters.
    There is no Right wing party in Ireland except by the definition of the Lazy Loony Left Layabouts.

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    Mute Pat Barry
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    Jun 9th 2024, 6:31 PM

    @BL Music: How anyone could get a single thumbs up for such buncombe really is beyond me.

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    Mute 9QRixo8H
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    Jun 9th 2024, 7:20 PM

    @Thomas Sheridan: SF haven’t done well but they’re the 3rd largest party, how many seats did your far-right anti-immigrant parties get? A whopping zero. Racists have no mandate.

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    Mute Terry Brophy
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    Jun 9th 2024, 7:32 PM

    @BL Music: funny how just SF suffered isn’t it, kind of utterly undermines your argument, if your assessment of the importance and impact of the “immigration problem” was correct we’d have had sways of the countless anti immigration candidates elected….. Guess what they bombed

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    Mute Paddy C
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    Jun 9th 2024, 8:29 PM

    @BL Music: can’t say that that’s racist, allowing people to enter the country without checking they’re backgrounds couldn’t possibly cause a problem. As our spanner himself roderic o gorman says we have a legal and moral obligation to house those entering the country. Obviously to whoever enters the country not what’s currently in it.

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    Mute honey badger
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:10 PM

    Saw this on twitter:

    “The only Sinn Fein person having a good day today is probably Jonathan Dowdall in Portlaoise Prison, who’s stuck his house on the market for €800k.”

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    Mute honey badger
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:39 PM

    @honey badger: Also, from Twitter:
    Sinn Fein spent €111,000 on Facebook advertising for this campaign. For 11%.
    Actual LOL!

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    Mute 6gRrQtLn
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    Jun 9th 2024, 4:53 PM

    She needs to go, the whingeing old bag

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    Mute Martin Kenny
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    Jun 9th 2024, 4:55 PM

    @6gRrQtLn: no, leave her there, doing a great job

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    Mute 6gRrQtLn
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:03 PM

    @Martin Kenny: valid point

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    Mute Philip Murphy
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    Jun 9th 2024, 7:44 PM

    @6gRrQtLn: and who is capable of replacing her

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    Mute Pat Barry
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    Jun 9th 2024, 7:55 PM

    @Philip Murphy: Nigel Farage.

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    Mute 6gRrQtLn
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    Jun 10th 2024, 6:48 AM

    @Philip Murphy: no one should replace her, SF should be abolished all together, terrorists shouldn’t be allowed to run for government

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    Mute Alan OConnor
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:06 PM

    She needs to realise politics isn’t conducted on social media.

    In a post vote survey 30 percent plus people said they had had a visit from an FF/FG candidate. Only 18 percent had one from SF.

    They need a new leader. She’s absolutely ruined them.

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    Mute Tom
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:06 PM

    You’d have had my vote if Pierce Doherty was the leader.
    He talks sense.

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    Mute Martin Kenny
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:13 PM

    @Tom: you mean how he wants affordable housing for everyone, just not in his area?

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    Mute Kush OMeara
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    Jun 9th 2024, 6:22 PM

    SFs traditional vote bank has been working class communities that are most impacted by very local issues. When SF started courting Hamas sympathizers and being all fascinated with Palestine and any other trending topics that didn’t resonate with the local communities, they lost those votes.

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    Mute Mr “JonnieBoy” Johnson
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    Jun 9th 2024, 6:33 PM

    @Kush OMeara: hari kari by sinn fein. Everyone could see that coming a mile away with the meely mouth re immigration and focus on palestine plus their referendum fcuk up. Mary Lou needs to go straight away and the party need to reorientate back to their core support , apologising on bended knee for betraying everyone.

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    Mute Renshai Renshai
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    Jun 10th 2024, 11:36 AM

    @Mr “JonnieBoy” Johnson: hand control back to ‘Belfast’

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    Mute Paddy Kelly
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:35 PM

    And she’s blaming the ‘current government’ for SF’s failure at the polls..whilst the ‘current government’ are running away with it; I’m confused..how does that work? The voting public have rejected SF’s programme for their ‘Change’..but I don’t think either ML or PD understand a 2-figure vote..

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    Mute chris gaffney
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:36 PM

    How is it that nobody can spell Pearse???? I do agree that marylou should go. She single handedly alienated the sf support. Thank you marylou!!!

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    Mute Sun Rise
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    Jun 9th 2024, 5:27 PM

    @BL Music:

    “Just like FF and FG . SF will not acknowledge the immigration problem and side with the natives”

    FF and FG seem to be doing alright despite your allegation that they don’t “side with the natives”. By your own logic nobody would vote for FF, FG or SF due to the “males being dumped into communities”. Something does not add up as FG and FF have garnered plenty of votes.

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    Mute martin finnegan
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    Jun 9th 2024, 6:33 PM

    Sadly i think Pierce Doherty needs to become leader . Very disappointed really thought people would vote for change . Not the same old boys club . Then again only half country voted these people same ones giving out.

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    Mute chris gaffney
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    Jun 9th 2024, 7:53 PM

    @martin finnegan: The loudest complainers couldn’t be bothered to vote obviously!!

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    Mute Wakeupkerrycoco Wakeupkerrycoco
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    Jun 9th 2024, 7:12 PM

    Let’s face it, FF/FG have been buying the locals votes for the last 12 months, money talks,every fiver extra,each lump some payment,each cost of living payment and every little increase & lots of handouts to communities across the country to white wash the crumbling buildings in the local squares.Brings all the locals to the schools to use their vote as a thank you to the government parties.Irish voters are always bought in the run up to elections, this will go on until the GE. It too will work then also as voters are always grateful for the few extra bob.Irish people love their money, whoever gives them more will have their hand shook.As long as donohue and mcgrath keep the handouts coming their almost guaranteed to be in government up to the beginning of the 2030s so get comfy everyone!.

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    Mute chris gaffney
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    Jun 9th 2024, 7:51 PM

    @Wakeupkerrycoco Wakeupkerrycoco: Dream on dear boy!!!! People just saw straight through the sf mullarkey!!

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    Mute Wakeupkerrycoco Wakeupkerrycoco
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    Jun 9th 2024, 10:20 PM

    @chris gaffney: Didn’t mention SF in my comment but yes I’d agree that people were not convinced by what SF have to offer anymore. Too slow to react to immigration and seemed to be having notions of grandeur before winning anything major.
    My comment was about peoples votes being bought by government.

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    Mute Renshai Renshai
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    Jun 9th 2024, 6:44 PM

    A poor display

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