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Dublin: 7 °C Wednesday 22 January, 2020

How to cure PMS: Post-Movember Syndrome

Now that mustachioed Irish males have raised €1.1m for prostate cancer services, has some suggestions for keeping their faces warm in December…

NATURE IS A cruel mistress. Movember/November ends and she rewards all you newly-shorn men out there with a Siberian airstream in the face.

If you are feeling chilly about the lower facial area or missing the gentle tickle of bristle on your upper lip, chances are you are suffering from PMS – Post-Movember Syndrome.

The news that mustachioed Irish males raised €1.1m for prostate cancer during the month of November (€45m was raised by the Movember campaign worldwide this year) should be cheering – but it won’t keep your face warm.

So if you are missing your mo’, suggests a few facial hair substitutes to fill the void:

How to cure PMS: Post-Movember Syndrome
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  • Fake it

    If Leslie Lewis of Denver, Colorado can carry it off, then there's got to be a joke-shop mo' out there somewhere for you too.
  • Milk it

    Do a Ramsay on it with a milk moustache and give the dairy industry a boost while you're at it.
  • Ring it

    Source: Melanie Favreau via
  • Pencil it

    Missing your pencil moustache? You can still have one. Made of a REAL pencil, see.Source: Marshall Astor via Flickr
  • Eat it

    The humble chip is not the most convincing mo' substitute, but it sure does smell good.Source: Marshall Astor via Flickr
  • Build it

    Dig out that childhood box of lego and make a man's mo' out of a boy's toy.Source: Ronald Eikelenboom via Flickr
  • Camouflage it

    Make like Brad Delson of rockers Linkin Park and blur the boundaries of where your head hair begins and your facial hair ends.
  • Burt it

    When Burt Reynolds shaved off his moustache of 11 years on the Johnny Carson Tonight Show in 1978, he took the heat off himself by getting two of his lady acquaintances to mo' up.

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