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Must ReadEpisode Review
It’s only day two and everyone has already lost the run of themselves on The Traitors
Things finally get going at Slane Castle, where being chirpy, drinking water and having a “smoulder” are all grounds for suspicion.
Spoiler warning: This article contains spoilers for season two, episode two of The Traitors Ireland.
IF THE SECOND episode of The Traitors Ireland taught us anything, it’s that evidence is overrated.
Why bother with painstaking detective work when you can identify a Traitor because they look tired, touch somebody’s arm, drink a suspicious amount of water or, most damningly of all, appear a little too cheerful at breakfast?
After a first episode largely devoted to introductions and setting the board, things finally started moving at Slane Castle tonight. There was a murder, a new Traitor, a genuinely good reveal and, against all odds (odds provided by Carlow man Seán C), the Faithful even managed to catch one.
It began with Donegal faithful Edelle accepting an invitation to join Fionula, Carla and Páraic as a Traitor and immediately being handed the choice of who to murder, though she was not given the opportunity to join them in the tower yet.
Their victim was Emma, who reacted to her premature departure with an impressively matter-of-fact: “I knew it.”
She probably didn’t. Then again, neither does anybody else.
With precious little information to go on, the contestants have begun doing what Traitors contestants do best: treating completely ordinary human behaviour as compelling evidence of criminality.
Pete, for example, has told his fellow contestants that he is a personal trainer. He is actually a military police investigator with the Irish Defence Forces, an occupation he understandably fears might put a target on his back.
And he’s already investigating. Edelle’s suspicious behaviour? Being “chirpy” at breakfast.
There were also questions about Páraic looking tired and touching Edelle’s arm, while Diego attracted suspicion on the journey to the day’s challenge because “when you speak to him he’s bubbly”.
“Maybe it’s a language thing,” came one suggestion from Denis.
At this rate, breathing irregularly will be enough to secure a majority at the Round Table.
Lord of the Dance
The day’s challenge offered no respite from the absurdity.
The contestants arrived to the sight of people in animal masks Irish dancing to live trad music. Normal enough stuff for a Monday night on RTÉ.
The contestants paired up for an elaborate game of musical chairs. While the music played, they danced around hay bales linked with their partner. When it stopped, they could search nearby haystacks for bags of money and hidden shields before scrambling back for a seat (on a hay bale).
Some embraced the spirit of teamwork and searched for cash. Others embraced the spirit of The Traitors and looked after themselves.
“Fuck the money,” Pauric O declared as he prioritised getting back to a chair.
This did not go unnoticed.
DJ and his partner were eliminated in the first round and were distinctly unimpressed by those who had chosen to secure their places rather than rummage through hay.
“That’s the name of the game, guys. Money,” DJ complained.
Dubliner Aoife, meanwhile, reported having hay “everywhere, up my nose, in my mouth”, while Siobhán McSweeney enthusiastically demanded: “Come on, knees up, dance for Ireland.”
Eventually, Denis and Diego were the last couple sitting, earning themselves shields.
“I felt like I had won an Olympic medal in Irish dancing,” Denis declared.
The group had not quite delivered an Olympic performance on the financial front, however, returning with just €1,400 of a possible €4,000.
But Denis and Diego were about to deliver something much better.
Away from the others back at the castle, Denis and Diego embraced, and the show revealed what the pair had been keeping secret from their fellow contestants: they are married.
It was a lovely little rug-pull and, suddenly, Denis’s earlier observation that it is “always lovely dancing with a Brazilian” took on a slightly different meaning.
A glass of water proves decisive
Then came the first proper banishment. Once again, the evidence was formidable.
Pauric O found himself under scrutiny partly because of his “smoulder”.
Edelle’s behaviour during the challenge was also questioned after she held up a bag of money and told Pauric and Laura: “This is what a bag of money looks like.”
Pauric said the comment had turned his “question marks into exclamation marks”.
But Laura had an even more devastating piece of evidence against Edelle. She had drunk a glass of water.
Not merely some of it, either. Laura had apparently clocked that Edelle drank her whole glass after the blindfolds were removed at the previous night’s Round Table.
There was also the suggestion that Edelle had looked up when McSweeney mentioned the Traitors.
Seán O dismissed the water theory as “nonsense”. And yet, somehow, the nonsense was right.
DJ also found himself in trouble after Diego revealed he had heard DJ was throwing his name around.
“Everyone needs a DJ at a party,” DJ offered in his defence.
Then, for reasons known only to himself, he decided this was the ideal moment to reveal another secret: he wasn’t being entirely truthful about his occupation and is actually a car salesman.
“People might not believe car salesmen,” he conceded.
“You’re not selling us a car though,” came the entirely reasonable response.
The resulting vote was messy in every sense.
Names were misspelled. The two Pauric/Páraics proved so confusing that Aoife voted for the wrong one. DJ came dangerously close to banishment.
Edelle ultimately received the most votes. When she stood before the group and revealed she was, in fact, a Traitor, the room erupted.
Laura was particularly delighted, quickly taking credit for having cracked the case.
And, in fairness, she had.
Edelle’s career as a Traitor had lasted roughly the length of a carton of milk left outside the fridge. Recruited at the beginning of the episode, she didn’t even survive long enough to return to the turret with her new teammates.
Trouble in the turret
Edelle’s banishment also created the first hint that things might not be entirely harmonious among the remaining Traitors.
Carla and Páraic had both voted for their fellow Traitor, something which did not escape Fionula’s attention when the three returned to the turret.
With another murder to plan, the names Laura, Seán C and Pauric O were put forward.
Fionula was particularly concerned about Laura, who has now earned herself the dangerous reputation of being a “Traitor hunter”.
But she appeared equally interested in what her fellow Traitors were doing.
“My back is certainly up and my eyes are certainly open,” she warned.
After a first episode that had the unavoidable job of introducing 23 people, explaining the game and assembling its Traitors, episode two felt much more like the show hitting its stride.
We have secret occupations, secret marriages, Traitors turning on Traitors, and I’m even starting to remember some of their names.
If Edelle’s downfall has established the standard of evidence for the weeks ahead, everyone in Slane Castle would be well advised to stop smiling, avoid unnecessary physical contact and, above all else, leave a little water in the glass.
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