Hear Me Out is a new weekly series where Journal Media staffers give their hottest, coldest and, where appropriate, temperature-bending takes on what we’re all discussing at the water cooler this week. 

If you’ve got a spat that needs settling, or you need the input of The Journal’s extended family of agony aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. then be sure to email tips@thejournal.ie with the subject line Hear Me Out, and give us a take that you think the world needs to hear.

ARE WE ALONE?

Whether it’s the War of the Worlds creatures poorly-thought out plan to invade earth without realising they were allergic to water, or Yoda’s wise old leathery hide, aliens have captured the imagination ever since they first allegedly showed up in Roswell all those decades ago. 

This week, a Donegal photographer captured a mysterious, ghostly spectre traversing the night sky, leading to speculation as to, well, what the hell it is. 

While it can’t be ruled out that the apparition is no more than the smoke of a firework, a fast-moving cloud, or some other totally normal thing — there is little denying that it looks like a jivey little dude walking right across the atmosphere above Donegal, perhaps on his way to pick himself up a crate of Football Special to take home to his little alien mates. One thing’s for sure, if he came to earth to learn about trains, then he went to the wrong place. 

In this week’s edition of Hear Me Out, we’ve asked the Journal staffroom to give their take on Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena, better known as UFOs. Because what’s more comforting than learning that the people who bring you your news secretly believe that ET is real? 

Unnamed Journal staff member (please picture The Smoking Man from The X-Files): 

There’s something like 2 × 10²³ planets (200,000,000,000,000,000,000,000) in the universe, at least. Of course we’re not alone. It’s absolutely absurd to suggest that aliens don’t exist, in some shape or form, and very likely intelligent life, although it’s difficult to comprehend how incredibly rare it must be given the chance circumstances that allowed life to develop on Earth.

Have they visited us? Nah. Which is pretty crap, really, because I would imagine that aliens are good craic.

I do not wish to be named in the article because it’s very hard to have a nuanced ‘aliens exist’ take without it being misconstrued.

Carl (me, the curator, mediator and referee of this series):

I think not wanting to be named in an article discussing UFOs more so makes it seem like you have insider info. You say it’s a shame aliens haven’t visited us. Can you tell us what genre of alien you’d most like to visit us? ET-style?

The Smoking Man staff member:

The ‘worm guys’ from Men In Black – I think this is foundational to my theory that aliens would be good craic.

Christine: 

I think we’re either alone in the universe or else so isolated that we might as well be. UFOs are a bit cringe, like an adult believing in Santa (and I say that as someone who has spent a huge amount of time watching X-Files and Star Trek! Arrival is one of my favourite films!). I just… don’t believe it.

Rónán

The laws of probability dictate that it’s foolish to think we’re alone, but equally those same laws make it unlikely we’d ever find each other. On UFOs, I think there are far more harmful hobbies for people to have. If aliens ever came here though, you’d think they want to land and cruise around a bit, darting around in the sky seems like a bit of a wasted trip.

Maria: 

Science is now firmly on the side of aliens. The Kepler mission unveiled the vast number of Earth-like planets out there that are potentially habitable with liquid water and other important conditions.

But despite pouring large amounts of money over the last few decades into missions to listen out for and send messages to our distant neighbours, we have heard nothing. This is likely due to fact we’re trying to find such a rare event (communicating intelligent alien life) in such an immense area.

So do aliens exist? Almost definitely. But I don’t think they’ve found us or received our messages just yet.

Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

Nicky:

I do think this conversation is sad and pretty heartbreaking, no matter what way you look at it. Either we’re living in a ‘dark forest‘ where no one wants to talk to each other; we’re too early and no one else is around; we’re too late, we missed the party, and everyone else is dead; there is intelligent life everywhere, but every civilisation destroys itself before it reaches an advanced enough stage.

Maybe they exist on scales or in ways we can’t comprehend, and we’re the zoo animals, and they’re just watching as we destroy our planet to see what they can learn from a civilisation failing.

Maybe interstellar travel is simply impossible. No one can crack it, no matter how hard they try. The mysterious elements that are required to make it feasible exist only in science fiction.

Or, the worst one in my opinion, is that we’re in the middle of an interstellar missed connection. The universe is full of intelligent life, but we simply don’t know how to communicate with each other in ways the other can understand or even comprehend as communication. We all want to meet up but no one is speaking the same language,

Or, maybe, we have already heard from them, and they’re on their way. I have come around to being quoted – but please imply that I have insider information.

Carl:

That’s right, folks. The Smoking Man was Nicky all along. 

Susan: 

My father-in-law is one of the most level-headed men I know, has a scientific background, is no-nonsense, hands-on guy. To this day, he is adamant he saw a UFO while driving at night in Mayo decades ago. He doesn’t have any theory about it other than he definitely saw it, it was definitely not anything he could explain then or since.
I also had a granny who went to her grave claiming she’d met a banshee as a young woman, but that’s another story.

David:

There has to be life elsewhere in the universe, but I don’t believe we have been visited by any little green men.

Shane:

If we ever discover aliens, it’ll be through accidentally intercepting their electromagnetic broadcasts, not by real-life contact. Which is ideal, because I love TV and can’t be arsed meeting new people.

Laura:

The internet has just tied itself up in knots now about aliens, hasn’t it. So much talk about the Greys, the Reptilians, the Age of Disclosure coming down the tracks in the next couple of years.

It’s really tempting to believe in aliens, like how cool is it as a concept, and we’d be seriously naive not to think that it’s entirely possible we’re not alone. But all this obsession with aliens lately, is it not just another escape from the harsh reality that we are all alone here and have made an absolute mess of things, all by ourselves… And no one is coming to save us?

Carl:

This is really supposed to be more like a light entertainment kind of series… 

Laura:

I’d love to think there are more advanced civilisations out there ready to share their knowledge with us, but I also think like the billionaires obsessed with Mars, it’s all an unhelpful distraction. We need to fix what’s wrong in the here and now. On this beautiful planet. Much more challenging and less craic, of course! My favourite alien is Mork from Ork. Nanu Nanu.

Carl:

Okay, that’s more like it. Nanu Nanu to you too. 

If you’ve been debating a topic with your friends, family and coworkers, and you want the matter settled by the Journal Media Galaxy Brain Trust Council of Wisdom™, then email tips@thejournal.ie with the subject line Hear Me Out.