Ranae von Meding

AS SOMEONE WHO has recently received a later-in-life ADHD diagnosis, it feels like every day I’m learning about things that could be related to my neurodiversity, and honestly some of them have been really eye-opening!

And so, here are 10 things I didn’t realise were my ADHD…

Squatting on chairs

I learned recently that it’s very common to sit on chairs in strange ways when you have ADHD. This is because your brain is trying to regulate dopamine, among other things. It’s literally your brain trying to make your body feel better. Who knew!

People pleasing

I want people to like me, and I always have. To the point of editing myself depending on who I am around.

I became really good at fitting in from an early age. Changing my wants and needs to ensure that people would like me and think I was a good person.

Misplacing things

It’s definitely become more apparent with young children and as I go through perimenopause, but sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind. I’ll give you an example: last week I lost a small bag containing mics that I use for work. I absolutely tore our house apart to look for them. I called all the people whose houses I’d been in. Not only that, but I even considered looking in the bins.

And then I got to work, and I’d left them on a colleague’s desk. I have no recollection of doing that. Sure, I can laugh it off now, but those couple of days over the weekend looking for them were incredibly distressing and frustrating. This is something that happens regularly.

Hyper fixations

If something piques my interest, I am locked in, and it becomes my mission to learn everything I can about it.

That could be DIY (my lifelong hyperfocus), or it could be a historical figure that I’ve read something about.

Social justice

Ever since I was a young child, I’ve been someone who would stand up against wrongs I see around me. From seeing someone hitting their dog to creating a decade-long campaign for equality for children of LGBTQ+ families in Ireland.

I’m not someone who can look away. And I only learned recently that being sensitive to justice, or rather injustices, is a strong factor in an ADHD brain.

Rejection sensitivity

This is a big one in the field of research into ADHD, with a greater understanding only coming to light now. I was 38 years old when I learned this phrase, ‘RSD’ or Rejection Sensitivity Disorder, and my mind was blown. There is a name for this thing I’ve experienced since I was a young child.

It’s a term to describe a deep, painful emotional response to real or perceived rejection, criticism, or failure, and it can feel physically overwhelming.

Eating disorder

At the age of 16, I developed an eating disorder. It persisted for the next 10 years. Thankfully I am living really happily and free of that ED now, but it nearly ended my life.

While eating disorders are not caused by ADHD, they can be closely linked, due to the feeling of perfectionism, loss of control in other areas of life.

Fixation on music/songs

I’m a lifelong music lover; I am a trained musical theatre singer, and it’s a huge part of who I am. Because of this, I never questioned the fact that I would get fixated on pieces of music. I remember the first time I realised, ‘oh, this might be something.’

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It was the week that Bruno Mars’s new single came out, and I think I must have listened to it about 100 times in the first two days. Yeah, it’s a good song, but there is something about it that just felt nice to listen to.

I then moved swiftly onto ‘World’s Smallest Violin’ by AJR. Top tip for any other neurospicy brains: most of AJR’s music scratches that auditory itch!

Procrastination

This is something I thought everyone experienced. Surely most people put off things that are boring until they absolutely have to do it?

I’ve done this since I was a kid… I’d cram the night before an exam, wait until the last few minutes to finish a test, put off doing things that I found boring until I HAD to do it.

Impulsivity

Impulsivity for me has always come in the form of ‘doing things’ like DIY or moving things. If I wake up in the morning and decide ‘today is the day I want to paint that wall’ I absolutely have to do it that day, to the detriment of everyone else’s wants or needs.

I always dismissed this as a factor that might be due to neurodiversity, purely because in my mind it was ‘productive’. And I guess that leads back into the stereotype that I grew up with, that ADHD was destructive, negative and the opposite of ‘getting sh*t done.’

I think it’s really empowering to learn about all the unique ways that my ADHD presents. And not because I’d ever want to change those things, but so that I can feel compassion and grace for myself if any of these mannerisms are challenging, and indeed celebrating those situations where my ADHD feels like a superpower.

*Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and these are the ways in which I have seen ADHD present in my own life. There are so many other facets of neurodiversity, and if you are looking for support, guidance or further information, I’d recommend visiting ADHD Ireland.